Picture of the day……. oh in honor of my post … dream job vs the dredd job

When I say I want a dream job and not , well, a job job.  what I mean is.

I don’t want this

I want something more like this……

What I look forward to is something,  I want to wake up and not only enjoy me put enjoy what I am putting out there.

 

Question, just one little question

I just have one question,  just one.

How does one know what they want to be?  I mean really, How does someone know what they want to do for a living?

I am stuck, I have no clue,  and I guess a little lost.

I know I can’t do poo, and vomit,  or anything like that.

I don’t know if I want a conventional or non conventional job.  or where I want to work.  How can you tell, granted I have been getting a lot of “well do something you like” but I really don’t think I can get paid to read books, play online or take care of my kids.  So, as you can see I am a little lost.

And if you thought process is to think of something else, well that’s what I have been trying to do.  the reality is, that I just can’t take any job,  as I have a family to support and I really don’t want to be on welfare my whole life.  ( actually I would like to be off of it as soon as possible)

I have made some goals, things that I would like to do.  One is to move out of AZ, maybe WA, OR or CA.  I would love to travel, even find a job that would allow me to travel. But at the same time, I don’t want to miss out on any part of my kids life.

Here I am, a little lost and trying to find my way….. and try to figure out what my career path should be.  What my dream job is?

Phase one of bettering my self : School

It has been no secrete that I am in need of a change,  or if you will a life over hall. I have been open that I have no idea of what I want to do, or what I want to be.  but I have said over and over again, that I want more than what I have and that I need to better myself in order to accomplish this.

So today I enrolled in my local community college,  or at least one of the local community colleges.  My main goal is to find my dream job,  and my forever job.  Part one is education,  and yes I know that it may take time,  but I also need to find out what I want to be, or who i want to be, or maybe who I am ( i guess that is the correct answer) .

Right now I am just going to take the required normal classes until I can put a figure on what it is that I am looking for.( wondering if I should be using a quigja board)

I guess the big question of the day is,  how is it that you can tell ” what it is that you want to be”.  How does one know what their calling is?  How can one find out what their calling is?

Big important question I know………

Picture of the day ……. how I am feeling right now

 

Yep this is me right now,

I would rather live in my books most days,  or just lay around reading and playing with my kids.  Is there a job for that?  mmm I wonder,  because I think I would be good at that.

picture of the day – a book store i would love to shop at

 

Picture of the day,  a Bookstore , well the door way to a book store.

I have no idea where this book store is but i would love to shop here,  this is the coolest entry to a book store I have ever seen.

I love book stores,  my mind runs a 1000 miles an hour when i enter one,  you never know where you will go and what you will experience in books.  It’s like a vacation for the mind and soul, when you can’t afford to physically go somewhere.

If I ever win the lotto,  my dream job would to work at a book store.

I hope you enjoy today’s picture

 

 

 

one downfall of a new job

the only down fall with working, with the new job,  I get home at 6:30,  which means I get 1 hour with my daughter before she goes to bed ( and 30 mins of that is with her whining as she is tired and wants to go to bed),  I get 2 hours with my son, and then he is off to bed. My fiance gets home at 9:30 or so ,  and we get 1 hour together before I have to go to bed in order to get up at 6:00 am to get ready for school.

I guess this is the down fall that all parents and people in relationships,  we all have to work and make sacrifices,  The goal is to enjoy them time you have and to make the best of it.

At least this time around I am enjoying myself,  if I have learned anything in my life ( and after my last job) is don’t waste your time at a job you don’t like,  as you spend most of your time at that place, and you don’t want to spend most of your time miserable.  Be happy with what you do and you will be happy with your life,  this is my goal,  to be happy with my employment.

Picture of the day – London

Picture of the day – its London

I can’t help it I am kind of obsessed with England.  I live on BBC America, Doctor who, Being Human, and Top gear. I would love to experience this country in full, everything from its double buses to its telephone boxes. It is so beautiful (from the pictures and from what I see on TV).  I wish I could visit this country and stay for a while.

What I would love is to be one of those jet setting people, to be able to afford to travel and do something meaningful with my life.  And when I say this, I don’t mean when I am in my 60’s or 70’s when I am too old to truly experience all that these counties offer.  for example is my grandfather,  in his 70’s and on a trip to Europe and goes to Russia and has a stroke and has to fly back,  I know he is enjoying himself but my goal is not to be traveling at his age and having extreme medical emergency in strange places.  I want to experience it all while I am still young.

It’s a dream I know, but it’s a dream I wish would become real.  Oh how I wish I could win the lottery or do something great in which I could afford to do amazing things.  I do not want to live and die by a cubical.

First real first day at work…..completed! Hoping my fears will go away.

I know you are all inquisitive how my first full day at my new job was…. well it was….good.  I am still scared and nervous that I am going to make mistakes and that I am going to blow it somehow.  I know I am my worst enemy.

But in short it went good, everyone is so nice and there doesn’t seem to be any cattiness either.  I mean it, no one got nasty or angry at anyone.  They all worked as a team.  Any mistakes that others had made were not blown up but the office manager.   Actually the office manager understood and said “its okay”, “next month will be better” and “I understand”. In some ways it seems too good to be true, so I guess this is why I am a little anxious.

The only way to understand what I am feeling is you would have had to work were I use to work.  In short some people would leave (quit) and come back saying how awful their new job was and that they were glad to come back to “us” (a total of like 4 people, 2 of which are close friends).  So I was uneasy about leaving and finding another job.

I was told by several of my (ex) co-workers that “I didn’t like change or that I don’t do good with change”, but this isn’t true.  It’s not the change I fear, its people.  People can be cruel and callous on purpose.  I know that this is no surprise to anyone how people can be but due to my experiences (and the fact that I am not a good judge of character) I have just learned not to trust anyone.

The truth was that I didn’t like where I worked, I loved what I was doing, just not all the people I worked with.  I didn’t fit in I guess.  And this caused problems that I didn’t notice until later.  But these problems were eating at me in the inside, I guess subconsciously I knew what was going on, for me every day was worse than the other.  During the last few months of working there, I would cry myself to work, during work and when I got home. I was so miserable and everyone could see it but not everyone understood why. I hated the people I was working with.  But the thing was it wasn’t the managers I had a problem with it was an employee and at times it felt like a group. The childish behavior was dreadful and the backstabbing was nonstop.  People you thought were your friends to your face would talk behind your back.  I heard a lot of these conversations, I didn’t like them and I refused to be involved.  ( I am thinking now that I should have said something to a manager but i was too afraid)

Then the time came when I was next in line.  I could hear my name and knew that I was being talked about.  She did this to everyone but was always so nice to your face and to the managers.  And then she would wait till someone was not around and talk about that person to everyone.  Almost like to build a group.  It felt like high school, with a bunch of people in the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.  I didn’t like it and it was eating at me every day. It made my life miserable, and the thing was it didn’t matter if it was me it was being done to; the issue was that it was being done at all.  I figured once we left High school, we would have left all the childish behavior too.

At the end I wasn’t fired, I was laid off with the offer that when things improved they would call me back ( As my office manager said, we are not wanting to do this, and it’s not you it’s your position) . The reality is that I didn’t want to go back.  I didn’t want to be part of that anymore.  For me it’s not about the money, I just want to be happy with where I am and what I am doing.  I figure if I am spending all this time away from my kids than I want to be happy with what I am doing.  I want to be in a good environment with good people who know how to treat people correctly.

So when I say I was scared I was scared, I was scared cause if this was considered good than what was bad.  I guess I let the fear get to me, so now I am scared of the what if’s, I am scared of getting into another job like the one I left.

picture of the day – rain day to cheer me up

 

Picture of the day….. a rainy day with books….. My stomach is still in a knot and I am trying to untie it.  So I thought of thinking of things that make me happy…. curled up on a comfy couch looking out a window as rain is falling with a great book to read….. this is my perfect day.

This is what I want….. when someone asks me what I want to do this is it…. I want a job in which I have this ability. I wonder if there is a job out there for me like this…..

Someday maybe this could be me,  I just wish I am still young enough to enjoy it…….

 

it picture day! Friday day – and its off to Germany ( or a least that what the picture said)

 

Hello go all,  its back to the travel time. I know I have been away from this for a while but we are off to Germany ( or at least that’s what the Picture said.)

I love this scene ,  rain on cobble stone, one city….. takes you back ,  ( granted it has a dark history,  but try not to picture that tight now)

I love history and i love the idea about travelling.  i wish i could travel and have the ability to travel anywhere.  i have a huge list of places i would travel to,  and the top 10 are all in Europe,  the history and beauty of this land is amazing.  I so wish I had the money , I would take off in a heart beat.

Does anybody know what i have to do or what job I have to get that will allow me to travel? mmmmm….. maybe a dream job for me……..

The Dream Job – is it real? and if so what is it?

For some time (a lot since I lost my job), I have been dreaming and thinking of what a dream job is, for me.  What type of job is it that I really want?  What is it that I am looking for?  

I don’t know what “it” is yet, but I have been thinking about it so much that it has almost become an obsession.  But then again, if you have no job, have tons of time on your hand, and are spending all day chances after kids, what is there to really think about. 

I know what I don’t want and more importantly what I can’t, I can’t do a position in which I am forced to interact with lots of people at once, I don’t want to be the center of the room,  and an introverted type of person, and dealing with people puts me out of my comfort zone.  For example,   I don’t want to be a teacher of any kind, or a guest speaker (not sure what I would be speaking of anyway).  Public display and I don’t go together.  

I know I am not manager material, as I would be taken advantage of, all the employees would be calling out sick, leaving early or coming in late.  Not good with authority and I am a push over. 

I love the outdoors but not during allergy season.  In addition, AZ is too hot for outdoors, granted it’s pretty right now, but nothing is nice about being out side in 110 + temperature.  Therefore, those jobs are out of the question.  

Also, I can’t sale; goes back to the public display and push over part.  Can’t sell anything if I am so nervous that I can’t talk and if I am such a push over.  I would probably be fired from a sales job because I would give the product away at no charge, as the person I’d be selling to would be a better negotiator than me.  It’s just a fact.  

Not sure, what type of job would be good for an introverted push over like me can do.  I am okay with phones and interactions one on one, good with the computer and typing, but bad with grammar and spelling.  I mean really, verb what’s that, Noun who needs them, wait what there’s a period too, I think you get the point, was that to passive?  (Hell the spell and grammar check on my computer hates me.  And wants a vacation after me typing this up)   

So what type of job should I go after? 

Any ideas, any?  Because I am at a loss