Things to learn

There are several things I want to do,  but there are just as meaning things that I would love to learn to do

1) I want to learn how to drive,  Yes i know I am 32, and you would assume that I would have had my DL by now but I don’t, I am afraid of driving.  I want to learn how to drive, to be independent and be able to go somewhere without asking my fiance to take me or waiting on an unreliable bus. ( that isn’t to say that our truck is reliable, its not)

2) to cook, and enjoy cooking,  yes i know its odd to say both together,  but the reality is I don’t know how to cook, i mess up cookies ( so i now buy pre made cookie dough),  I want to be able to to cook something other than hamburger helper or spaghetti but more importantly I want to enjoy it.  I would love to be able to say I can make thanksgiving dinner and want to make it)

3) I want to learn how to garden,  I now that one is weird but, I don’t have a green thumb, and I know I can be taught.  I just want to be able to keep one of my plants alive, longer than 3 weeks.  or grow something in my back yard.

4) I want to learn how to sew,  I am short so there really isn’t much in my side and when you see petite cloths , they look more like old lady cloths, for some reason designers think petite means old lady,  we ll I am not an old lady and i am tired of shopping in the kids section for capris,  So I would like to learn how to him jeans and also make a few thing too.

5) don’t laugh,  I want to learn to ride a bike.  Okay stop laughing, yes I am 32 and never really learn to ride a bike. Yes I had a bike, but lived in an apartment and my mother wouldn’t let me out side ( cause it was a bad neighborhood) so I never. I would like to learn, I would like to learn so i can help teach my kids to ride their bikes when they are old enough.

6) I want to lean something new each day,  I want to experience something new and different everyday

 

becoming a new me

I have been making goals, some big and some small ones (in hope of helping me achieve the big goals), I have also made some silly goals, like going to comic con, for the idea of having fun.  Goals like these are more like rewards for meeting the big goals.

The real reasons for these goals are to help improve myself, inside and out.  I want to feel good when I look at myself, not just physically but mentally.  In the end, I want to be able to look back at my life and be proud of my achievements.

for the past 32 years I have basically just floated through it, making no efforts and for the past 13 years I have taken no risk, and I feel like I have wasted my time and opportunities to better myself.  Regardless of the reasons to why I choose to pass up the opportunities (self-sabotage), I can’t live in the past and I have to think about not only my future but my babies.

What I am wanting in the end, of all of this (the goals and all) is to be financially stable, self-motivated, self-assure, and all around happy and a good person.  I want to be a good example to my children, and be the change I want in my life.  I know that I am the only one that can make me happy and make this happen in my life.  The lottery is a wish and a good dream, but it’s not real and I can’t keep on leaning on that as my back up plan.

If I am wanting to really change my life, I am going to have to start doing something, taking risks and facing my fears.  I have to actually do something besides watch my life pass me by.  I have to be the change I want.

I am 32 years old, mother of 2 babies (and a 3rd one that I gave up for adoption), and the future wife to a very luck (and great) man. And I have a full life full of challenges and obstacles in front of me and I am afraid but that will not stop me from achieving my goals.

(That was my roar)

a week already….

Well tomorrow will be officially one week from my first day at my new job, and I feel…. good but still a fish out of water.

Almost everyone i know has asked me ” how do you  like the new job” ,  and its good and everyone is so nice, and generally seem to like working there and like each other. It is just that,  I don’t have any job duties and I have been mostly filing…. so I don’t really have a place yet.  This kinda bothers me as I am used to having, well having a function that runs with the company and I feel a little useless.  I am hoping that tomorrow I will get more work as some responsibilities as I am running out of filing to do.

on a side note,  I am actually hoping to succeed at this job and become something and if not, then actually learn something I can take to my forever job. Also, the longer I am at this job, it makes my old job seem like kids stuff,  in short it really wasn’t real “accounting”,  it was data entry with some a/p and a/r. And I can tell you our bookkeeper ( at the old job) really didn’t do much compared to these girls.  In short I am loving this place more and more. I am so happy I have this opportunity at this place,  and opportunity to actually learn new and different things.

Regardless of where I am planning on being and what my forever job will be, I will be using this time  in order to get somethings in my life worked out and fixed, I guess in short take care of somethings in order for me to move up in the world.

A recap of the week… I believe I am enjoying my self and I think I am like this new stuff, Now only to regain the self-confidence I lost at my old job.

Picture of the day….. Off to Paris, again

 

Ok we are off to Paris France again for our Picture of the day,  after all its a train ride away from England.

well what you are looking at is the top of the Louvre Pyramid , which is the main entrance to the Louvre Museum.  This is the museum that was featured in the book/movie the Da Vince Code, but besides that, this museum houses some the worlds most beautiful art and history and from what I am told is a must see before you die ( in short a line on that bucket list to scratch off)

this is on my list , but not a bucket list, its more of things to do before I am 40 ( 8 years from now).