Today, Today, Today…….MMMMMMmmm Not a good day I say

Well, today was a bad day.  bad day as a mother, I guess.

I have a job I like,  just not the pay.  And this is the problem.  Or part of the problem.   I make around 1k less,  and this digs deep into our ability to provide for our family.

I just found out today that I wouldn’t get paid for thanksgiving and the day after thanksgiving.  This check that I just received today, I was hoping to be able to but its short.  which means I am short on funds.

I knew that It was a long shot, but I was hoping. And I know its stupid to be upset over something like this,  but I was hoping, just hoping that I could pull it off.

I know I shouldn’t be whinnying over material items, such as Christmas presents, But there is no worse feeling to feel for a parent to know that you let your kids down,  especially on a holiday like Christmas.  Yes my kids are 3 and 1, but I also have a stepson who is 14 and a stepdaughter who is 12. and my little boy is 3 and he knows about Santa and has been surprisingly talking about Santa for the last couple of weeks.  And I feel like I have failed them.

it really sucks right now.  I feel like a really big failure.  I don’t know how to tell them that we can’t do it this year, and i don’t know they will react.  Kids shouldn’t have to deal with thing like this.  I really don’t know what to do, and nothing seems to be right, like there is no right answer.

how do you tell kids that there is no Christmas,  I feel like the Grinch.

it just sucks, really bad, really sucks .

Feeling a little like Cindy Lou Who

Just wondering when Christmas became all about the gifts, and less about…. well, Christmasie(if that’s a word)

Christmas used to be magically now,  if feels more like the weight or lack there of weight of my wallet.  between the commercials showing gifts, that are to be the norm be around $100.00 or more,  and I am sitting here wondering how do people afford to spend that much on one gift.

$100 on a gift….. yeah right.  In my family,  we are wondering if we will even have money to be able to buy a couple of gifts for our children,  I couldn’t imagine having enough money to be able to spend $100.00 on a single gift for one person.

it leaves me asking ” where are you christmas,  why can’t I find you”

Yep, I am watching the ” How the Grinch stole christmas” and everyone else has gone to bed………

Picture of the day- bringing it back home

 

Picture of the day – Christmas in AZ

bringing it back to home to the valley of the sun.

See while everyone else decorate trees,  we take the hard task of decorating out cactuses.  Yep,  its dangerous but beautiful.

While everyone else in our country is dealing with extreme colds,  and snow.  Well we still have sun.  Nothing like it being in the 60’s and 50’s in December.

hope you enjoy the picture…. Happy Holiday’s and Merry Christmas from Phoenix/Glendale AZ

 

Family night, turned into alone time?

Its family movie night, or so I thought.

I got off of work early today, 5 pm with being picked up instead of a bus ride home, and we picked up my stepson (from his moms) and our kids ( from daycare) and than we went to Costco to get a few things and dinner, what else but Pizza.  *****its friday and friday for me means Pizza, this has been tradition for me since I was a kid****

Came home, made the pizza and thought cool family time.  Turned on the tv for our movie,  ABC family is showing ” The Muppet Christmas Carol” ,  which is great.  At least I thought,  but some how what was to be movie night turned into me sitting in the front room myself before I knew it.

First, my 1-year-old little lady,  fell asleep in my arms ( 7:15pm) so I put her down.  Next some how my fiance went into the other room to go on the computer,  he left just as I put her down,  when I came back out from laying her down he was gone.

I sat back down,  this time just me, my Step son and my little MR. as I was getting into the movie, MR was gone (735),  it turned out he walked into the bedroom and laid down and went to sleep with his baby sister.

So it was just me and my step son, so I though.  It turns out 14-year-old don’t want to watch the Muppets or a Christmas carol.  On to his nook with him and into the other room ( his bed room).  This left me alone, by myself,  watch the movie at 8pm.  Within an hour it went from family time and movie to little old me by myself.

mmmmmm…. I guess there goes family movie night.   knew this would happen at  some point, I just thought I had some more years.  Oh well,  I will watch the Muppets Christmas Carol by myself then.   They don’t know what they are missing.

picture of the day….. Christmas in Paris

 

It’s the 25 days of christmas pictures….. today is Paris.

Okay … I warned you a while ago , I love Christmas.  and I love the idea of traveling…. And I would like ( by like I mean love) to be able to travel to Paris ( France, not Texas)

Maybe for Christmas, Santa will give me a couple of ticks, and by tickets i mean winning lotto jackpot ticket.

hehehe

Anyway…… Happy Holiday’s to All, and I hope you enjoy the picture

No black Friday shopping for me!

No i did not go black Friday shopping,  I actually never go.  I don’t see the point.  Yes there are a few good deals but for me most are not worth the stress of it all.  and to be honest i have found that waiting until the last-minute usually pays off.  as the sales on black Friday can be found again closer to the actual date.  Also In some cases, i can get a better deal during another time of the year.

But more importantly I don’t buy big expensive gifts,  It’s not the money that matters it’s the thought and I don’t believe in going broke for one day.  To me Birthdays are more important that giving gifts on Christmas.

So No black Friday Shopping for me.  I enjoyed today and relaxed and slept in with my kids and went to a book store for a few and then walked home ( to burn off the fatty foods I will be eating tonight)

picture of the day……. Thanks

picture of the day…. proving that thanksgiving is when “people” put their issues aside for a good meal.

this is in honor of all the facebook post I have been seeing ” 30 days of thanks”

what I am thankful for ( the 1st 12 thanks)

1) a job

2) my children

3) friends

4) family

5) good movies

6)good books, enjoying re rereading the same books over and over.

7) for good neighbors

8) for my former high school helping me out

9) for phones,  so I can talk to my family

10) for the internet , so i can do double communication with them

11) my extended family ( My daughter’s mom, dad, sister and their friends)

12) to my children’s doctors, who I am thankful for acting quickly during the labor which I believe saved their lives

 

 

 

picture of the day – wow

 

okay this is just magical,  almost polar express.  It’s Duomo Cathedral in Milan, Italy.  for a moment I was looking for Santa’s elves.

I know it’s not Christmas,  and I am not trying to post a Christmas picture. but this just screamed to me.  And if I am to be honest, Christmas is in my soul, fused to my DNA.  I love Christmas.  Well I love my idea of Christmas.  For me Christmas stood for miracles and its the only time of the year that people actually think of others,  not just their families but others, strangers, people they never meet before.  It’s the time of the year where others think about how to help a stranger on the street.  Its seems to be the only time of the year were humanity is still alive.

So in short I love this picture.

Halloween Fun – kids style

I can honestly tell you that Halloween has changed a lot since I was a kids,  it seems more expensive but at the same time it doesn’t seem like people are putting the same effort in as they used to either.

But on the bright side of it all,  it sure does seem longer.  So far we have been to 3 Halloween events ( over the weekend)  and Halloween is tomorrow.  Its been fun and It makes spending $16.00 for one outfit worth it.  My son is Ironman this year,  we bought the outfit from Costco like 2 months ago,  he has been wearing it non stop so I think it was a good buy.  But for our little lady, yeah , mmmm we haven’t bought an outfit.  I will being going to target shortly to see if they have any Halloween onesies left, but don’t plan on spending more than $10.00 (including tax) on it, or going to Savers to see what they have, and if I can’t find anything, well sorry to say than she isn’t dressing up.   ( as we just don’t have the funds this year)

Either way she won’t really be trick or treating as she can’t really walk, she can’t talk and she can’t have candy ( minus M&M’s for breakfast apparently).  She will be going with us, but just in a stroller.

On Halloween we have a lot of plans, so I am glad that both of us have the day off( well minus his school in the morning).  we will be trick or treating at the mall for a little, than home for a nap and then a walk through our neighborhood, and then off to my dads, then to my step moms, and after that we go to the church for some “truck or treating”.

After the night is over with, than we go home and put in “The Nightmare before Christmas”,  we watch it ever year and its a staple of Halloween for us

It’s so cute to hear my son say in a little voice “trick or treat ” and then “thank you”

I am really looking forward to it this year.