parenting 101 : don’t make excuses for others

There are many rules of parenting and yes, some rules only apply to others.  but in general the main parenting rules are common sense.

I just had an argument on Facebook with a fellow “friend” ( when i say friend I use it loosely) on Facebook.  regardless of who she is I had an argument with her.  and I don’t care if it made her angry.  and yes I think I am 100% right.

I learned a long time ago to take responsibility for my own actions,  and to stop blaming others for my mistakes or short comings.  I believe this philosophy is the same with parenting.  It is our jobs as parents to raise and teach our children,  not teachers.  Teachers  jobs are only to educate them with regards math, science and reading, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t to help them there too.  Granted over the years teachers have had to try to make up for the lack of parenting of some of their students ( but that is a discussion for another day)

In short her post was in regard to the statement the sheriff in Florida released regarding the parents of the Bullies  who bullied a young girl while she was alive and even after she died .

“”I’m aggravated that the parents aren’t doing what parents should do,” the sheriff said. “Responsible parents take disciplinary action.”

As a parent I agree with the sheriff but I believe that the correct action needed to be  done before the child took her life,  correct parenting would have prevented the bullying in full or would have stopped it prior to the girl committing suicide.  My heart goes out to this young girl’s family, as this situation should have been prevented or stopped prior the tragic end of her life.

At the end of it all the parents of the bullies are just as guilty as those that did the bullying.  They were the parents and had control over all the devises these girls were using to harass this girl.  Facebook is a privilege and should be monitored at all times,  All post should be read as they are going out,  there are programs that can control this, same with the cell phones.  I understand that technology has advanced and is involved in every aspect of our lives but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be parents and that we shouldn’t be monitoring our children ( even if we trust them). remember,  growing up, no matter how much we loved our parents or how close we were to them there were things that we never told them, so we should never assume that our children are telling us everything.  We are not our children’s friends,  we are not here to make them happy or give them thing that we didn’t have.  We are here to raise them,  to prepare them for the world, and part of that is understand the effect that our child could have on others.  We are all connect to each other and out actions can have an effect on someone else lives and lets hope that affect is a positive one.

now regards to her post ( I have copied and pasted from Facebook) – 

Post 1) You fucktards TOOK AWAY OUR RIGHT TO DISCIPLINE OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!! God that quote pisses me off to no end!!!! Kids are  ) running rampant, disrespectful, violent, and no regard for others! Why? Because people don’t know how to mind their own business and LET US DO OUR JOBS AS PARENTS

Post 2)  but the parents aren’t doing their JOB because of how screwed the system is now

Post 3 ) People are SCARED to do anything because of people calling the police and reporting to CPS. For no damn reason other than they have nothing better to do than to butt in to other peoples business. And that’s a fact.

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what got me angry is the part where it is assumed that parents rights to discipline have been taken away.  they haven’t,  Over the years parenting has changed and yes, so have views and Bad parenting habits are being reviewed and laws created to prevent abuse.  To assume that these parents were unable to discipline or punish their children is a cop-out.  the idea that parents are scared to discipline their children is untrue. if you are fearful of CPS than you are more than likely you doing something wrong and might need to rethink your parenting.  The idea that people / parents are afraid to discipline their children is a lie.  What are they afraid  of : Time outs? taking TV away? no video games? no playing with friends? or is it just the fact that they don’t want to parent or take care of their kids.

To give these parents an excuse, for not doing their job is unacceptable.  To try to justify the acting that have been done by using this excuse is a cop-out as a parent.

Parents right have not been taken away and to assume that if someone see something wrong that they shouldn’t do something is  irresponsible.  It is the responsibility of each of us to file complaints,  or get help for someone if we see them in trouble.  To stand around and watch something happen and do nothing makes you just as guilty as the party doing the action and makes us part of the problem not the solution.

There is no reason parents should be afraid of being a parent.  If there are People out there they feel this way, than they have no right to be a parent.

After 2 kids I can honestly say that this is the hardest thing I have ever done,  and yes I have fears everyday but not about disciplining my children .  I am not the best parent in the world but do the best I can do, and I am always looking for ways to improve myself and how to parent.  I am not afraid of my kids or disciplining them and i am not afraid of asking for help or advise.  I believe that this is what makes us better parents.