I am feeling lost in all this, along the way of trying to just survive I have lost myself.
My emotions are up and down. One moment I am happy the next sad, It’s almost like being pregnant ( but I am not, I am not going down that road again, unless I can make a 1 million this year, so in short that isn’t going to happen)
It’s hard to feel a sense of any accomplishment right now and i feel sorta useless. Its hard not having a job, Not having a purpose.
My kids are great and I love spending the time with them, but I feel that I am failing them as i don’t have a job. i am unable to afford to take care of them.
I keep hoping for a miracle, Like winning the lotto or being discovered ( Not sure what I would be discovered for but regardless I think you get the point)
I try not to stress out on what will happen next month if things don’t change, and i am unsure of what I need to do or what I am ( if anything) doing something wrong in my job search . I feel like I have no control over anything and that I don’t have any options but to just follow each day until something comes up.
I do wonder if finding a job will help me get back on track in my life, or if i am looking in the wrong direction. I wonder if this is the opportunity that i have been asking for but yet i am still wasting it.
I wish I could focus so I can see any signs are in front of me. I know that with every closed door a new one opens but I wonder if I am unable to see the door as my eyes are closed.