Happy National Adoption Day

its national adoption day. A Day to celebrate Adoptions, so to those adopted and to the adoptive parents Happy day to you!

adoption blog part 5

This week I want to do something a little different, as you may be aware by now, I jump around (a lot). I can’t help this; this is how my mind works.

I thought this week I would share where I am in my life with my adoption

My adoption has been over 12 1/2 years.  It’s not something that I have ever concealed, as I stated prior. I see my child (we will call her “N”) and her family at least once a year and talk on the phone to either her or her mom (we will call “M”).

In the 12 1/2 since my adoption of my daughter our adoption has changed considerable since the beginning.  There was no clear idea of what the openness of our adoption would be so at first it was just letters and photos. By the time “N” was one, “M” and I were in contacted with each other and decided to do a meeting, face to face.  It was the first time I would have seen “N” since leaving the hospital and 2^nd time seeing her parents altogether (I only met them once before and that’s during the adoption stage)

I went up after “N’s” 1st birthday; my father took me up and came with me.   It was strange to see “N”, it was bizarre to hold her, she didn’t seem to be the same child, she seem better.  She was an angel. I remember being scared and afraid that she wouldn’t like me or wouldn’t want I near her.   But that isn’t what happened.  She came up to me, we played together, and she let me hold her.  It was like she already knew me.  I can’t explain it but it felt like she already knew me.  “M” told me after that that was the first time he ever did that.  She said that “N” wouldn’t let anyone hold her expect for immediate family, she didn’t like strangers and didn’t really like close friends hold her. “M” was astonished that she would walk straight up to me and had no problem being around me.

She later said (that she thinks) that there is a biological bond between us or something like that. “M” has always encouraged our relationship and has always been happy about it.  She says this is what she always wanted with her oldest child’s mom, but never could due to it being a closed adoption.

Her mother: “M” is a wonderful person, knowing her and knowing them as a family has helped me heal and cope with the adoption.  I never fear for my child, I know that she has an incredible life; one that I could never had been able to provide her. (And when I say that I don’t mean incredible due to material objects, but I mean with the warmth and Love they provide to her as a family)

I know that some people may say all you need is love, but the reality is that love doesn’t pay rent, electric, water, child care and food.  And state assistance only goes so far.  I don’t know that I would have been able to do it. But I do know that she deserved better than that. (I don’t believe that I child should suffer for their parents errors or lives)

Knowing them has made my process easy and has allowed me to be able to move on.  I don’t know if I would have survived if it wasn’t for them.  I know that I couldn’t do a closed adoption.  I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself not knowing and always wondering. I couldn’t just let her go and I still can’t, I love her too much to just let go.

Knowing them has made me improved me as a person and enhanced my life.  “M” is a remarkable person and extraordinary mother, I wish I was blessed enough to have such a mother.  There are very few people I look up to in this world, the list is very small and at the time of my life the top of that list is my stepmother (soon to be divorced from my dad) and the other is “M”.

I can’t stress enough that I am happy with my choice and don’t regret it.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, and this child was meant to for to be, even if she wasn’t meant for me.

New blog : Adoption stories postings

If you are wanting to put your story on the blog ,  you can either go to the blog :

Stories of the Heart : Our Adoptions  and place a comment, and I can copy and repost

Or If you are wanting to remain anonymous than I can give you my email and you can email me your story.

This blog is still a thought process in the middle of being created,  so I am working out the look and post ( how to post)

I understand that the adoption process is hard and not easy for everyone to talk about that’s why I created this site.  Talking about it can not only help your self but others.  So please don’t be afraid to share.

Thank you again

New blog : Adoption stories

I started a new blog today.  Its for adoption stories.  The goal is to gather stories about adoptions ( from all views points for all types of adoptions)

I want to be able to gather as many stories as possible.  to be able to create a conversation regarding adoption , different types of adoptions and those involved in adoptions.

I am not sure if this blog will be successful but I am hoping that if people participate  in it,  It might help people who are still coping with the effects of adoption.

I want to put our stories out there,  stories about adoption from our point of view.

 

Thank you