Today I asked a friend of mine a question.
Keep in mind I don’t really talk about my problems with my friends. I don’t really know why but I guess the reason is because I am afraid of what they will say or of them judging me. But with this friend I am not really afraid of that. Not because she is my best friend (because she isn’t, she is just a good friend) but because she is a good person. and I know that she is not one to really judge another person and she has been through her own stuff in the past so she understands. And Understanding without judgement is a great thing and quality in a person. Also a little about this friend, she is religious, but not the crazy type. The type that believes that you don’t judge and the only one that has the right to judge is God. And she doesn’t look down on people for their faults or any of their sins. She is the type that believes that you should love all of “God” people equally and live your life the best and help those around regardless of their beliefs and who/type of person they might be. So in short, she is a good person.
So Back to my question
I asked her if it was immoral to pray for the lotto. She laughed ( mind you this was via text so it was actually , lol) and then she said, don’t pray for what you want, pray to God for what he wants for you .
This left me a little confused…. cause I don’t know what “God” wants for me and I don’t even know how to wrap my head around it. But regardless, I responded the only way I knew how, Being a smart ass.
” Well how Do I know what he wants in my life. ’cause right now he is serving me a bunch of foul balls and I am striking out”
Yep I responded using a baseball metaphor.
But don’t worry she of course swung back.
” Keep Praying. Find a Church. Read your bible. Its full of God’s promised for your life”
Now keep in mind I haven’t been to church since I was a kind. I am not saying I don’t believe in God, cause I do. I just, I guess don’t believe in church and well I always question things, and I guess questioning the minister is frowned upon. She is the first person I have met that is religious and not judgmental of others. In short, She doesn’t point her fingers at people and tell them they are going to hell. Because like she says ” who I am to know what God has planned and why would I even think for a moment that I would even know what his plans for others are”
But she didn’t stop there. She than joked ” and are you sure those balls are being pitched by God? the devil throws balls too”
and me being me responded ” well if so he must be having a ball at seeing responses to each ball that is thrown.
And we ended our conversation with her final words” lol, hang in there, remember this is all temporary”
Granted I know she is right but I am still scared and stressed. I don’t want to lose my house and if the loan mod falls through, well I don’t know where we are going. I have just under 3 weeks till the sale date and everything seems to be spinning out of control. I don’t know what to do and I don’t feel like I have control over any of it. All I keep thinking is ” I need some sort of miracle”
My life as I know it 